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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430932">Is This Desire?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gushing/pseuds/gushing'>gushing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(kinda), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, First Time, Friendship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Polyamory, Slow Burn, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:21:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>764</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25430932</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gushing/pseuds/gushing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima is glad to find out he'll be attending the same college as Asahi; the same cannot be said about finding out both Kuroo and Oikawa attend that college, especially after that eventful night a few years ago.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kuroo Tetsurou/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Oikawa Tooru/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Oikawa Tooru/Tsukishima Kei, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>44</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Is This Desire?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This chapter is written in first-person through the perspective of Tsukishima. Other chapters will be written through other character's perspective or through Tsukishima's again, or just in third-person.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>
    <b><span class="big">i</span></b>
  </i>
</p><p>It was an odd summer this year; I had finished my last year at Karasuno, and I found myself out late with my teammates, tipsy and merry and emotional. I wasn’t one for sappiness, but surprisingly, Kageyama was the one who shed a gallon of drunk tears most nights at around 3AM, devastated that he was going to a different college than me, Yamaguchi, and Hinata. If you had told me I would be bouncing from party to hotel to an empty field and back to a party all summer long, especially with these idiots, I would’ve laughed in your face. But, I figured I may as well give the whole “get wasted until you regret everything” gig a try before I had to really buckle down and study. </p><p>I wore thin, peach-cotton t-shirts with shorts that were short enough to reveal a good portion of my upper thigh; I liked to feel almost naked on the sultry summer nights, and I was as skinny and lean as a mannequin so no eyebrows were raised. Certainly not out of disgust at least. I hated being unaware of how people truly perceived me, but I knew I wasn’t revolting to look at. I’m sure some would say completely the opposite. </p><p>Hinata, as usual, struck up an absolutely brilliant plan to arrange a night with all our older players a year or two above us from Karasuno. Only he failed to mention they would bring along <i>other</i> older players from different high school teams, who were now at college with them. </p><p>Lo and behold, Asahi arrived with Kuroo and Oikawa, the two of them looking much too proud with their toothpaste-ad smiles and imperfectly perfect hair. In Asahi’s defence, he looked reluctant to have the two in his presence given the circumstances and gave me a light pitying smile.</p><p>~</p><p>Asahi was one of the few people I had kept in close contact with after he left; I felt obliged to, as, in my first year of high school, I confided and vented to him much more than what was probably appropriate, and he had a <i>lot</i> of dirt on me. Not that he’d do anything with that dirt, but still, I trusted him a lot and over time the feeling grew mutual. I also thought he was hot as fuck, but he didn’t need to know that. </p><p>The soil in that dirt contained confessions that no one else in this world had heard from my lips, not even Yamaguchi. The first confession was how painfully unsexy I felt next to Kuroo. He had a perpetually flirtatious smirk across his face, as if I was wearing revealing lingerie that only he could see. Or as if I was incredibly embarrassed over myself liking his face. The latter was true, but I didn’t let Kuroo on it. </p><p>When I initially blurted out this frustration to Asahi, he didn’t quite know what to make of it and just sympathetically giggled. He didn’t judge me for professing an infatuation with another boy, and he gave me some advice I’d never forget: </p><p>“When another guy compliments you, just say “thank you” or some other polite gratitude, but never awkwardly laugh or say “Oh, no I’m not”; it’s a clear sign of insecurity and those men will think of you easy prey, and get you to become dependant or attached to them over the course of a night so you’re easier to seduce into bed and do things you don’t really want to do.” </p><p>That shut me up. I felt acutely dumb and naive, and I received pangs from my heart and brain as punishment for never thinking of such an obvious thing. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think Kuroo was a pick-up artist, but I had never felt so hot and bothered, so gawky and boyish and so virgin-like before I had spent some sweaty nights with him in practice. The way Asahi’s words rolled of his tongue like scripture skyrocketed my respect for him, and most importantly for me at the time, the way he spoke with such confidence and conviction and lack of shame made it clear he was acquainted with the business of dealing with other men in a sexual manner. I could relate to Asahi the most, he was coolly comfortable with himself when not next to our brassy-idiot teammates. </p><p>~</p><p>So naturally, I was pretty glad when I discovered I’d been accepted to the same college he currently attends; I was less thrilled to discover the other third-year students who attended, namely Kuroo and Oikawa.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! If you've made this far: thank you!!!!</p><p>This is my first fic so any feedback / comments would be so so so so so greatly appreciated.</p><p>Again, thank you so much &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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